


Turn the Page

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:28:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23334628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: How do you know when it's time to give up hope? To move on?
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Comments: 12
Kudos: 48





	Turn the Page

**Author's Note:**

> the letter is from the show 9-1-1, it called to me to write a fic for it   
> I know I have requests to get to and I'll get to them just bare with me!

Everything felt lost. Empty. Pages being turned only to find blank ones the rest of the book. 

Nick experienced his fair share of loss, hurt, heartache, sinking loneliness—but nothing prepared him for the emotions he felt watching the love of his life ( _ god was she.. _ ) pack up her clothes and other essentials. When she was done, the apartment felt empty even with the furniture and the things Nick kept while unofficially living here after losing his own place. 

“Are you sure about this?” He asked, voice cracking under the weight of the situation and his emotions. 

Ellie looked at him after zipping up the suitcase, his heart aching looking at her, that sparkle gone from her eyes. She nodded, giving a sniffle before coming to wrap her arms around his waist. Nick sighed deeply, pulling her against him burying his face in her hair. 

“I need to do this.” She whispered, the tears she shed a lot of in the last month coming back as her voice shook. “Not only for myself, but for them too.”

Nick felt his own eyes water, his grip tightening. “They would just want you to be happy.”

“I know.” Pulling away, she wiped at her eyes roughly. “But I don’t know how to do that right now.”

He ignored the way her words hit his heart sharply. Nick knew she didn’t mean it like that..like  _ he _ couldn’t make her happy anymore, like she wasn’t happy being with him anymore, but it still stung. 

A little over a month ago her parents died. 

Now, Ellie was only hours from getting on a plane to Europe. 

“I just- I need to do this as a way to honor them.” Ellie took a breath. “They wanted to travel through Europe together but there was never a right time- I want to do this for them.”

“Alright.” He said softly, taking her face in his hands gently to press a kiss against her lips just as soft. 

A tear slid down both of their faces.

An hour later Nick watched Ellie’s back as she walked through the airport, away from him, away from their life.

He didn’t bother wiping away the tears falling freely.

_ “I’ll be here for you no matter what Ellie.” He whispered, forehead pressed against hers.  _

_ Ellie smiled sadly at him. “I can’t ask you to wait for me Nick, not when I don’t know when I’ll be back.” _

_ “I’m not asking you to.” He swallowed the lump rising in his throat. “But I’ll be here when you do come back.” _

Ellie got onto the plane taking his heart with her.

* * *

**18 Months Later**

Life went on without her no matter how much he hated it. 

Cases came and went just like the temporary Agents that would fill her desk.

What was the hardest pill to swallow though wasn’t life moving on around him, but the way as time passed, contact with Ellie became more stretched out between times and shorter. Nick would take it to heart, except she was doing it with everyone, even her brothers. It was as if life was mocking him. He barely had Ellie, but in the year she was gone became close with her brothers. Life traded him one Bishop for three others, but Nick only wanted her. 

He stayed at her apartment, but as more time went by he felt more like a ghost haunting the place. This was  _ Ellie’s  _ apartment, not his own. He didn’t feel it at first, until he went two weeks without hearing from her only to find out from a picture she posted that she was in a whole other place than where she was last time they talked, it was the first time she didn’t tell him where she was going beforehand. For some reason, it was a punch to the gut and a hit of reality all at the same time.

Nick stared at his open bag and the clothes folded along the bed, a conversation he had with Jack the day before coming to him.

_ “How do you know?” Nick asked, hands tight around the mug of tea in his hand. Jack sat beside him on the couch in her office, legs folded beneath her. Their work day ended three hours ago. “How do you know when it’s time to give up hope? To move on?” _

_ Jack’s eyes softened knowing he was talking about her. He didn’t do it often since she left. “I think..when it feels as if that hope is crushing you under its weight, that you can’t see a light at the end of it no matter how much you try, but most of all I think you know when you feel it in your heart.” _

_ Nick closed his eyes, curling in on himself as much as he could with the mug still in his grip, the weight on his chest heavy.  _

_ “No one will be angry or disappointed in you for moving on Nick, or at the very least letting her go so you can try and heal.” Jack said soothingly, running a hand along his arm gently.  _

_ “I still love her.” He whispered brokenly.  _

_ “Oh I know honey, I know.” Jack quickly took the mug from his hands right as the sobs he was holding in for months broke free. With tears in her own eyes, she moved closer and wrapped her arms around him. _

Rougher than needed, Nick tossed his clothes in his bag before grabbing a letter with Ellie’s name on it off the bed. Below her name was the address she was staying at. With a heavy heart Nick began to walk towards the door, stopping to look around the apartment one last time before turning off the light.

“Goodbye Ellie.” He whispered in the dark, bag over his shoulder and letter in his hand as he shut the door behind him. 

_ Dear Ellie,  _

_ We are all haunted.  _

_ By the ones we’ve loved, and the ones we’ve lost. By the choices we’ve made, and the ones we still struggle with. Our lives are like a series of ghost stories. Sometimes all we can do is turn the page, let go. That’s what I need to do now. I’m not sure if you’ll ever come back, or how I’ll feel if you do. But I am sure that I cannot wait anymore.  _

_ You are my ghost story Ellie. You are the amazing spirit that blew into my life, turned it upside down, and then vanished into the night. Being with you made me a better man, and for that I will always love you..but now it’s time for me to figure out who I am, without you.  _

_ Love, Nick. _

_ P.S. Remember no matter what, I’m only a phone call away. Take care, Ellie.  _


End file.
